I send and receive a number of emails over the run of the week.  Work email, IEEE email, social emails, responding to emails telling me how to enlarge things and get money from a dead guy’s Swiss bank account.  It’s all good.  I’m a big fan of email over actually talking to people.  But not all emails are created equally.  Not even emails written by the same person on the same day.  And some email habits really drive me nuts.  Maybe I’m old-school.  Let me share with you some of my email driven angst:

• Emails sent without subjects. I cringe everytime Gmail says (no subject) for the subject to an email I’ve received.  I don’t CARE if the email is a one-liner asking me about my weekend plans.  Or if you only email me on one topic, therefore there’s no need to explicitly state the subject.  I don’t care if you forgot.  The subject line is there to be filled in.  I like to know what’s inside.  I like to look back on the subject and determine what your email was about.  And usually, if I’m replying to a no-subject email, I fill one in.  You may not notice, but it makes me a little happier.
• Emails with more than one topic. I’m a bit… OCD about filing my email.  I love Gmail and how it allows me to tag one email with multiple labels.  But I’d prefer not to have to do that.  Personally, I’d prefer two separate emails with well-crafted subject lines.
• Emails not written coherently. It’s a informal form of communication, but it’s only communication if both parties are communicating.  If I can’t understand you, it’s not really communicating.  I’m not talking good grammar, or full sentences.  Re-read your email from the point of view of one who did not write it… can you understand what you are trying to get across?
• SPAM from myself. Do you get this?  It’s happening a lot on my school account.  And I’m not seeing a damn cent from it.  Argh.

That is all.

I like grocery shopping.  I like making the list, and then ignoring the list as I load up on ice cream and cookies and whatnot.  But there are a few things about this semi-weekly outing that drive me nuts:

• People who bag bananas.  Bananas come pre-bunched.  And in peels.  WHY do you need to further protect them by putting them in a plastic bag?  A plastic bag, I might add, that is good for practically nothing once it is done transporting your precious bananas home.  Really.  They’re not that fragile.  They survived growing on that tree out in nature, and the truck from Belize to here; they’ll survive the ride home.  Oh, and I hold this same grudge for people who bag one apple, orange, green/red pepper, etc.
• The lack of grocery selection in the grocery store that sells me motor oil. Okay, I don’t buy motor oil.  Someone else takes care of that for me. :)  But if I did, would I buy it whilst buying my strawberries and Havarti?  Probably not.  Some probably find it handy or convenient.  But when I need andouille sausage or dried hot peppers, it’s frustrating to know that the store doesn’t have it, but hey, they have Monopoly and a large selection of light bulbs.
• No one knows where to find the toothpicks. Toothpicks fall into a category of goods that the fine folks who organize grocery stores don’t know how to handle.  So they don’t.  Instead, they place them randomly around the store in hopes you will buy other things while looking for them.
• SUV-sized carts.  I’m generally not interested in buying groceries to fill my bomb shelter.  Why is my cart sized specifically for that purpose?  The basket is too small.  The cart is too large.  Oh, for a happy medium.

That is all.

I know it was a Monday morning, and most of us aren’t totally awake on a Monday morning. But for the love of God, *I* saw the large blinking arrow indicating that the left lane was closing in another hundred or so feet. So did a lot of others. But you keep on going like you’re oblivous to the blinking and then have the gall to butt in front of me! I don’t appreciate it!

Ans I’ve reserved a special shame for the few who, after getting in the right lane as per common sense, decide to leave it to join the line-butters!! Argh!!!!!!!!

Signed,
More Awake Than You

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Dear International Astronomical Union,

Have a heart. Pluto’s a great dog! He’s Mickey’s friend! He’s famous! Just because he’s not a freak of intelligence like Goofy and evolved in one generation instead of a million, does not give you the right to put him “on the chopping block“.

Wait. Just read the full story. Change of plan. You can’t take away Pluto’s planet status. That’s really mean… you made a decision, you should have to stick with it! Plus, we’d have to make up a whole new rhyme to remember the planets… we need the Nine Pizzas that My Very Enthusiastic Mother Just Made Us.

Yours,
Confused and Hungry

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Dear Hallway Wall,

I’m onto you. Just because you seem all solid does not mean you aren’t moving ever so slightly, getting in my way and making me seem clumsy when I bump into you. It’s assault,I tell you, and I won’t take it!

Signed,
Bruised but not Blind

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To whom it may concern:

If you use an apostrophe before the letter ’s’, you better as hell be meaning ownership. Because if you are trying to write a plural, you are wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. And you’ve pissed me off.

Your’s,
Me

I consider myself a practising Catholic (though granted perhaps I don’t practise often enough) and a generally good Christian, but one thing I definitely suffer from is a dose of good ol’ Catholic Guilt, though not in the Wikipedia sense, not consciencously. And I think that leaves me predisposed to feeling guilt over a number of things, from not finishing my thesis yet to not seeing my family enough to not cleaning the house often enough to not being a “good wife” to not being more productive at work to not exercising more to not being assertive enough to being too assertive at times to not writing more letters or calling friends to… well, to a fairly endless list. Surprisingly, I don’t worry all that much – I rarely lose sleep over these things, but then again I haven’t had a fully refreshing night of sleep in a long long time – but I think that’s more of a mechanism my mind has come up with so that I don’t end up in a frenzy or something, rather than me not actually worrying.

I came to the realization this morning that when I have deadlines and “things to do” (and I always have deadlines and “things to do”), I don’t get full enjoyment out of the good moments in life. I managed to leave it all behind for our last vacation, but generally I can’t do that for a long weekend (or a normal weekend). I think I’ve set up a condition/deal with myself that if I don’t have most things accomplished on my infinite list of “to-dos”, I can’t really have that much fun. I don’t have to constantly worry about them, but I don’t get to anti-worry either. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to certain things (I refuse to accept a less-than-perfect Duck Hunt score, and would reset the Nintendo if that happened), so maybe I’ve set my standards too high. Maybe I’m always disappointed that I’m not “reaching my full potential”.

Why am I telling you all this, oh ye in internet land? Maybe I’m talking to myself, and you’re listening in. Maybe I think you all need to get to know me better. Maybe I’m asking you to back the frig off when complaining I don’t blog often enough, because you’re making me feel guilty about THAT too.

I could be a good psychological study, yes? Or a great drunk… but the emotional hangover would suck, another guilt line to add to the list. :)