Six Months In…
… and what do I have to show for it? A healthy, happy baby boy who seems to be reading the development charts and following them perfectly. A dog who is a bit jealous, but is learning to live with less attention. An awesome hubby who has become an excellent, patient father. A house that’s no cleaner or more organized than it ever was pre maternity leave, but that’s okay, as long as the laundry gets done. A bit of a tan from those few sunny days we’ve had that I can stroll with Baby J. A better appreciation for SAHMs and anyone undertaking childcare professionally.
… and what do I miss? Sleep (I’m getting some and I’m not complaining, just being honest). The ability to have a margarita without planning around it (breastfeeding is awesome is so many ways though). Work (yes, a bit). Travel (soon to be rectified, hopefully).
… and what surprises have there been? How quickly the months have gone by. How slow some days can seem. How interesting it can be to just watch Baby J from day to day. How much love and pride I can feel for my family. How a sunny day makes so much difference when you aren’t in an office. How great coffee can be after a difficult night. How different things actually are. How little some other things have changed.
… and what do I have to work on for the next six months? Patience (especially at 5am). Organization. Taking advantage of those quiet moments to get things done or do nothing without feeling guilty. Reaching out and staying connected to friends. Learning to ask for help. Learning to say “No”.
Filed under Baby J, Family, Friends, Life | Comment (0)Call Someone? Really? Maybe I’ll Email First.
Because I’m trying to make sure Baby J is cultured, intelligent and sophisticated, we generally listen to CBC Radio 1 in the mornings.
(Well, really, it’s because we listen to it first thing for the traffic updates, and I’m generally too lazy to turn it over afterwards).
Jian Ghomeshi hosts “Q“, which is self-described as “an energetic daily arts, culture and entertainment magazine that takes you on a smart and surprising ride, interviewing personalities and tackling the cultural issues that matter.” It features a wide variety of topics and guests – most famously, the show featured Billy Bob Thornton, who was on the show to promote his band but got… a bit upset that Jian dared to mention his OTHER career. Here’s the YouTube video of what went down then.
But an interview yesterday caught my attention, with journalist Pamela Paul about the state of the personal and business call these days. You can listen to the interview here. But the general gist is that, for most adults in the working world:
- Personal calls have been largely replaced with texts, emails or instant messages with the exception of a predictable set of intimate contacts (parents, spouses, children). The ring of an unexpected call can cause anxiety – the first thought is “What’s wrong?”. Non-routine personal calls are normally set up as “phone dates” in advance, and the negotiation is done over electronic means.
- Business calls are also rare without first setting up the groundwork via email; sending a quick note via email is the expected, indicating you plan to call at a certain time to discuss a certain topic, with the basics of the discussion contained within.
- No one checks their voicemail when they have Caller ID.
This describes my communication style to the letter. ”Back in the day”, I was a bit of a phone addict, like most teenage girls of my era. I was even slow to catch on to the SMS trend. These days the only people I actually call, and who call me, without some electronic communication first, are my mother and in-laws. Like the interviewer suggests, at home I think of phone calls as almost intrusive – Why are you calling me? I’m busy (probably not, but still…)! Send a note and I’ll respond on my own time! Unless it’s something urgent, I much prefer the one-way communication methods of text, email or IM, and their non-threatening nature. Not sure if you want to respond? I don’t know if you got the message, so you can take your time. One thing we DON’T have in our household is Caller ID, the philosophy being “If you didn’t leave a message, it mustn’t have been important.”
At work, I normally will send an email to a contact outlining as many details of an impending call as possible, to avoid miscommunication of important facts and details as much as I am trying to avoid the actual call itself. Business calls have their own set of rules with respect to small talk and negotiation, and I haven’t learned all the rules yet. If we can hammer out the facts via email, that’s just fine by me. If we can’t do that, I’d prefer a face-to-face meeting over an hour-long phone chat.
For a while, I thought my behaviour and thoughts regarding phone communications were anti-social and unusual (I’m finding more and more that I am an introvert, but more on that some other time). So this interview made me feel better about myself. But do I feel better about where our society is headed? Will we lose the art of conversation, or gain time once spent chatting inanely about the weather and vacations? Should the ring of my home phone bring on panic instead of curiosity?
Filed under Email, Family, Internet, Phone, Technology | Comment (0)I took my lamp for a walk today….
Wesley had surgery on Tuesday past, an aggressive treatment (lateral resection) for an even more aggressive series of ear infections. A check-up visit to the vet yesterday was positive; things are healing up nicely apparently. But until he gets the stitches out on Friday, he must continue to wear the Elizabethan collar, a.k.a. the lamp shade, to avoid any scratching that may disturb the healing process. He’s maneouvering decently these days, especially after Brian trimmed the cone. But he still bumps into things and plows snow as he goes out to do his doggy business on the patio. But he’s not very happy having it on, as you can see below.
My Catholic and Other Guilts
Some days (depending on if Brian needs to be dropped off, my mood and the traffic, etc.) I head out Blackmarsh Road to get to work instead of my usual Kenmount Road route. Alojng that route there is a Catholic cemetery and church. The other morning I went this way, and unconsciously caught myself “blessing myself” (making the Sign of the Cross) when passing the cemetery. Caught me by surprise, since it’s something I haven’t really done since I was a child riding in the car with my parents (people who are regular church-goers, though I suspect it’s mainly for the jokes :) ). The surprise led to a tad bit of guilt for not seeing my parents or going to church as often as I “should”…
I consider myself a practising Catholic (though granted perhaps I don’t practise often enough) and a generally good Christian, but one thing I definitely suffer from is a dose of good ol’ Catholic Guilt, though not in the Wikipedia sense, not consciencously. And I think that leaves me predisposed to feeling guilt over a number of things, from not finishing my thesis yet to not seeing my family enough to not cleaning the house often enough to not being a “good wife” to not being more productive at work to not exercising more to not being assertive enough to being too assertive at times to not writing more letters or calling friends to… well, to a fairly endless list. Surprisingly, I don’t worry all that much – I rarely lose sleep over these things, but then again I haven’t had a fully refreshing night of sleep in a long long time – but I think that’s more of a mechanism my mind has come up with so that I don’t end up in a frenzy or something, rather than me not actually worrying.
I came to the realization this morning that when I have deadlines and “things to do” (and I always have deadlines and “things to do”), I don’t get full enjoyment out of the good moments in life. I managed to leave it all behind for our last vacation, but generally I can’t do that for a long weekend (or a normal weekend). I think I’ve set up a condition/deal with myself that if I don’t have most things accomplished on my infinite list of “to-dos”, I can’t really have that much fun. I don’t have to constantly worry about them, but I don’t get to anti-worry either. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to certain things (I refuse to accept a less-than-perfect Duck Hunt score, and would reset the Nintendo if that happened), so maybe I’ve set my standards too high. Maybe I’m always disappointed that I’m not “reaching my full potential”.
Why am I telling you all this, oh ye in internet land? Maybe I’m talking to myself, and you’re listening in. Maybe I think you all need to get to know me better. Maybe I’m asking you to back the frig off when complaining I don’t blog often enough, because you’re making me feel guilty about THAT too.
I could be a good psychological study, yes? Or a great drunk… but the emotional hangover would suck, another guilt line to add to the list. :)
Filed under Driving, Family, Guilt, Rant, Religion | Comment (1)